'Martial' as defined by the dictionary is relating or suited for war or a warrior. Now I've never been in a war, or even a fight for that matter, but we can all have that warrior spirit within us for use in our daily lives. This obviously doesn't mean that we should try to fight physically, but mental discipline is something we should strive for. This idea of martial spirit is multi-faceted for sure; but the one aspect I would like to focus on is the decision to stick it out no matter what it takes. Perseverance some might say, that dialog with yourself where you decide to fight a situation to make it through. Sometimes its not so glamorous, most of the time its just trying to keep up and survive.
This idea of martial spirit came across for me during a meditation day last fall, and I do mean a day long meditation. 12 hours of sitting, chanting, walking, and more sitting. It sounded like a good idea before I got there, t turned out to be one of the hardest/best things I have ever done. I remember being excited when we first started. I looked around the room we were all in rows, getting ready to start our first session. I remember thinking that this was such a cool thing that we all got the opportunity to do together. How often can we take time and just sit.
Well that feeling lasted awhile. I lost count of how many of the ~20 min. sit sessions we had done, but it seemed like we had been sitting for a very long time, I guessed at least half the day was over if not more. I distinctly remember during one of these sits thinking to myself, "Man, I feel really good, this was a great idea to come here, I feel really calm and happy, we should be getting ready to wrap up the day and we'll be outta here in no time, this really wasn't as hard as I thought." I don't know how I could have been so naive.
Note: The day started at 5:30am, it was completely dark when we started
I ended that last sit with this happy feeling on my mind, when I opened my eyes I realized something that floored me. Here's what happened... I glanced over at the blinded window that I was sitting next to, I could see the light coming in, but still dim. I could see the direction of the light coming in and I quickly deduced that the direction meant that the sun just starting rise. Here's the kicker: This meant that it was approximately 7am at best, assuming the sun rose around that time.....do you get it yet? This means that I had only been sitting for an hour and a half....AT BEST.....and...I had 10+ hours left to go!!!
Needless to say a daunting feeling came over me. I believed I couldn't survive that long. The day went on, painfully slow, literally, my back was throbbing in pain because I could not hold proper position. I could not maintain focus because all I could think about was the pain. Like I said...daunting.
When my Sifu mentioned afterwards that part of the reason we did this meditation day was to develop this martial spirit. At first I thought, "But we didn't do anything we were just sitting, we didn't fight anyone."...oh really? Thinking about my experience I realized that I did fight. I fought to maintain as best I could with the condition of sitting silently. Harmonizing as best and as long as I could, pushing, trying to motivate myself, every second to maintain more, until it was done. That's what I learned about martial spirit.
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